An apology for liking breasts

Well this is an interesting problem I had, and bare with me, I am not just being a male chauvinist pig. My ex-girlfriend once brought this problem onto me, and it caused me to think for a good long while in fact. This is since I am a man, and proud of liking women, therefore I am also proud of liking breasts. She however did not really understand this: “are they not just mammary glands, things to feed babies with?”.

Well yes, of course they are, and a damn good reason to have them in the first place. On a side note breastfeeding is very good for babies, increases their immune defence and has the right mix of nutrition for an infant, and you do not need a dietician or scientist to mix it for you and put it in a can either. Ancient Egyptian women would even go so far as to breast feed their children for three years.

Time to get back to my point. It is actually really hard to say why I like boobs (not just because it is something that will make me blush in polite company), I just know that I do. So I sat for a long while thinking about it. Firstly they are pretty good to look at, however, if you had a painting of a good pair of breasts and put it on your wall you would probably get bored of it after a while and it would become mundane. A painting is nothing like the real thing. It is not just because of how they feel either, you could manufacture a breast out of rubber, water and silicone to feel and look exactly like a real breast, even heat it up to the right kind of body temperature, but I seriously doubt that people will get as much pleasure feeling those up. They would probably get bored of it after a while. Also, I have heard some gay friends and female friends of mine also say that they like boobs. So, on a purely physical level I doubt people like breasts all that much.

However, I do think it is when you bring in the emotional or mental (subconscious) reasons for liking breasts that it starts to make more sense why breasts are so well liked. Being able to look at and feel, especially your girlfriends breasts, is a sign of trust, or of a level of trust within a relationship, in most cases (I am willing to admit there are some strange extroverted people out there, and many cases that do not fit in so well, like prostitution). There is also the tie to growing up, fondly remembering your mother (hopefully) and her feeding you (associations with food should be good), however gross that may sound thinking about it now. Then there is probably also a more primal reason, you want (deep down in subconscious of course) someone who will be good at bearing your combined children. Women look for a good strong man who is able to defend and get food; men look for a good figure to have children, in other words, looking at waist and breasts. This may not be accurate, maybe even somewhat wrong, but it does seem to explain the reasons better.

These may not be the only reasons, and I am fairly sure for each person their reasons are a different combination or concentration of these reasons. But this is where my thinking leads me to. Hopefully this makes some sense to women out there, and will help men put into words their reasons for liking breasts.

Jon

Why I want to be touched by His Noodly Appendage

Well it is simple really. I like pirates and would wear a pirate outfit everyday, “yarrrring” and drinking grog. And, of course, there is nothing better than an Italian pirate: eating pasta, sinking ships; stealing booty and keeping away Global Warming. Well this is somewhat similar to what the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster proclaims. The story goes that the world and everything in it, including midgets, was made by the great Flying Spaghetti Monster. That the holy regalia of The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the pirate outfit, and that the decrease in pirates is the direct cause of global warming.

Although these are good reasons to convert, they are not really the true reasons why I would want to become a Pastafarian. I would actually like to convert for two reasons. Firstly they are have a really good sense of humour, they do not take themselves seriously, they do not take religion too seriously, I am not sure that they in fact take anything seriously. If you did not realize that Pastafarianism is a bit of a joke on other religions then you really are a lost cause, and if that humour offends you then you are missing the point. I have to admit that anything with a good sense of humour is fairly enticing, I have the opinion that if you cannot laugh at everything and anything then you are probably about to burst into tears, huddle in a corner rocking back and forth howling for a razor blade.

The second and more serious reason, why I would like to be a Pastafarian, is because of their denial of some Ultimate Truth (like that God loves you or that you will be reincarnated) that you need to believe in. Although it does not say this directly, their aim somewhat implies it. The wanting of people to believe in an/the Ultimate Truth is something that puts me off about most religions, as I struggle to follow any ultimate truth. Pastafarianism can almost be seen as an anti-religion in this light, since it is refusing this main point that most religions want to maintain. I am not trying to claim that religions are bad because they have ultimate truths, or that people who are religious are stupid and cannot think for themselves. In some ways I really wish I was or could be religious, and that I think too much in the wrong type of direction for religion. Therefore something that does not lay a claim on me to believe in something that I find almost impossible to truly believe in I find very appealing. This is since I do not want to make a lie of my life acting like I do believe but actually not fully or truthfully. This, by the way, is something that I have done for a fairly long portion of my life. This was however before I really had the ability to decide for myself what to do, what to follow and how to think for myself. I was just following the “in” crowd, which strangely enough for me at the time was the church going crowd. If you do follow your own choices and path and that leads to religion then I am proud of you, and respect you for it. Just do not expect me to just because you believe it is right or true.

If you do not know much about the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster I would recommend reading up about it (at: http://www.venganza.org/about/open-letter/). Their point, although couched in humour, is quite a valid and interesting one.

R’Amen brothers

Jon

Introduction

Well, a good place to start is of course to start with an introduction

I am Jon. I am 23 years old and busy at the moment with my honours degree in philosophy, hopefully finishing quite soon. I am obviously, by my name, male, and I am the kind of male interested in women and proud of it. My interests are varied, like any other person living in the world I am sure. I like to read, watch anime, play online games, cook, complain, rant, discourse, talk and maybe listen if you have a nice voice, and in special cases if you have something worthwhile to say.

What am I going to write about in this blog you may ask? Well... anything that tickles my fancy: the meal I just cooked; some stupid label I just saw; some politics or philosophy I have just read or have been told about and pretty much anything else that is mulling about in my insane and confused mind. The only thing I can say is: do not expect me to follow some strict procedure of what I should write about. Other than that, this is my first time blogging, and I do not really have any idea where to start.

The next question I would like to answer is why I chose JonDough. Well, firstly read it aloud, that should give you an indication of one reason. I think I am just some normal unknown person, and that emphases that point. The next obvious thing is that my name actually is Jon, well it is a shortened form of my name. The "Dough" part can point to a few different things about me, for instance that I like food. I have even spent a year working as chef, well less of a chef and more of a cook-grunt/vegetable-chopper. "Dough" also points to an issue I would expect a lot of people to have, and that is that I am conscious of my weight, or at least I was, thanks to gymming occasionally and doing martial arts when I was a bit younger I am no longer so worried about weight.

Anyhow. I hope that works as a general introduction. Expect me to post something proper fairly soon, there is rather a lot fermenting in brain at the moment, and all I need to do is get it typed out and cleaned up.

Jon