Thoughtful Comments

There are always some comments that just tickle me, in a bad way. Usually they are things said as a joke at some stage or are just accepted by the people who say them. What really bugs me about these comments is the lack of forethought. Two that quickly come to my mind each time I think of this topic are ones that have to do with couples, either being in one or by a part of a couple. These are the comments, “where is your better half,” and, “see that, you don’t really want a girlfriend.” These two familiar comments bug because of the deeper meanings and lack of thought about what it means.

Take for the first example the comment about the better half. Here this has some deeper meanings, which can be found with a bit of scratching. Firstly, it assumes that someone is only half a person. It is clear that it is meant to be “half a couple,” but no-one ever says that. This immediately puts me on edge, because I like being considered as a complete person. At the same time, I am not the “half” that the person wants to talk to. Instead, I am only the means of reaching the person they want to talk to, and they are only talking to me because of social etiquette. Or, it could mean they are glad the other half is not here so that they can do some bad talking, assuming I care about doing that. Being the worse person in the couple does not really bother me though, low self-esteem issues and so on.

Even worse than being half, is the comment about not wanting a girlfriend. This needs to be put into context first. This normally happens just after the man in the couple gets asked to do something by the woman in the couple, while I am around. Usually, this is something as simple and easy as, “please make me a cup of tea, babes.” At which point, the man walks past me, rolls his eyes, and says, “Look at all this trouble, you are lucky not having a girlfriend.” This comment, while a joke, is fraught with inconsistencies and problems that I end up grinding my teeth.

If someone makes this comment, they are either stupid, liars, or complete bastards. If they are really in a relationship and they are being tortured and being used as a slave, then they should break up. If they have not broken up, then he is obviously stupid. Similarly, he could just be lying about how bad the problem is or even to him/herself. The complete bastard comes in if it is just a joke. Cause then it is more just rubbing it in that I am single and that all he has to do to get the benefits of a girlfriend is make a cup of tea occasionally. To be honest, I would do a lot more before I found myself being upset at a bit of work.

With these two comments in mind, it is important to think about the things actually said and what they mean. These are used far too easily, and even as jokes they are somewhat lame and irritating. So, if I punch the next one who mentions one of these to me, then I hope it is understood why.

Jon.